Parashat Chayei Sarah

Dedicated Le’ilui Nishmat Daniel ben Aishe, Danny Zirdok, A’H

By The Zirdok Family

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Parashat Chayei Sarah

The Years of the Life of Sarah

Parashat Chayei Sarah continues from where we left off last week, with the death of Sarah Imenu. The parasha begins with the passuk, “And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.” Why does the Torah repeat that “these were the years of the life of Sarah?” Rashi answers, “[This tells us] that they were all equally good.”

On the contrary, we learned Sarah had a life filled with challenges. She experienced a famine, she was kidnapped in Egypt, and despite Hashem’s promise of making Avraham into a big nation, she went through years of infertility and uncertainty, and selflessly told her husband to start a family with her servant. To the outsider’s eye, Sarah had an incredibly difficult life. So why does Rashi specifically refer to all her years as ‘good?’

Rabbi Ari Wiesenfeld told a story about a 92-year-old man who was being admitted to an old age home. The nurse was taking him to his new room, and she was describing it to him. “It has blue carpet—” and the man quickly said, “Oh, I love it.” She continued, “It has a few pictures on the wall near the bed, and a great closet—” and he said with a huge smile, “Great, I love it!” The nurse said, “Mr. Jones, we’re on the way to the room, and when you see it, you’ll love it!” Mr. Jones said to the young woman, “Happiness isn’t the way you arrange furniture in your room. It’s the way you arrange your mind. I already decided to love it! That’s good enough for me.”

“These were the years of the life of Sarah.” Every challenge in her life was met with satisfaction and joy to just serve Hashem. She was content with the knowledge that Hashem is in charge. Charlie Harary once said there is a big misconception about the phrase “Gam zu le’tovah—everything [Hashem does] is for the good.” The average person could go through a difficult challenge and say, gam zu le’tovah, but his brain would rationalize it as “this bad thing is a kaparah—atonement, and something better will be waiting for me in the future.” But gam zu le’tovah means that this challenge isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s intrinsically good! However, our brains are not capable of seeing that, so we perceive the challenges as ‘bad.’

Sarah took each moment of her life as a great gift from Hashem. She appreciated everything and was so grateful for her time, and that is why Rashi explained the years of her life were good, because they were!

Our Akedot

Rabbi Biderman explains that we can perform an Akedat Yitzchak even in our own times. In Shemoneh Esrai of Rosh Hashana it says, “Remember Akeidat Yitzchak today.” We are asking Hahsem to remember the akedot--sacrifices we make every day.

The Shlah Hakadosh says we should emulate Avraham by overcoming our nature, by battling yetzer hara. Waking up early to learn Torah or pray, refraining from speaking lashon hara—derogatory speech, etc. The Shlah says that while someone is struggling, they should say to themselves, “perhaps Hashem is testing me now, similar to the test that Hashem gave Avraham.”

Don’t Regret Doing the Mitzvah

Our Rabbis teach us that there was a connection between Sarah’s death and Akedat Yitzchak. Her death, they explain, was the result of the akedah. Rashi quotes Chazal, that the Satan described the akedah to Sarah shockingly. Normally if one breaks unpleasant news to a parent that resulted in success, he will start by saying, “Your son is okay, but he was involved in a car accident, and Baruch Hashem, he’s fine.” A person must learn how to talk when breaking difficult news to someone.

But the Satan said, “Avraham sacrificed your son Yitzchak…but he didn’t kill him.” From these shocking words, Sarah’s neshamah left her body, but she heard the rest and was satisfied that her son had survived. Why did the Satan have to shock Sarah? Chazal answer that the Satan was trying to make Avraham regret what he did so that he would lose this incredible mitzvah. As we say in hashkivenu in arbit, “Remove the Satan from before and after us.” Please, Hashem, don’t let the Satan discourage us from doing mitzvot before we do them or cause us to regret doing them afterward.

Imagine if you see a poor person that you want to help, but the Satan grabs you and discourages you from helping that person. Then, after you conquer the yetzer hara and help the man, the Satan comes to you and says, “Why did you give him so much money?” He tries to make you regret the mitzvah that you just did so that you will lose credit for it. This is exactly what the Satan was trying to accomplish with Avraham.

But we learn that Sarah passed her test because Chazal taught us that her last breath came with the proud knowledge that she had succeeded in raising a son who was willing to give up his life in the service of Hashem. As we learned before, Sarah lived out her full lifetime, and the Satan did not take away any of the years of her life. This was when she was supposed to die.

Divine Providence

Rabbi Joey Haber relates a story that was told to him by Jonathan Ghermezian, one of the owners of the Mall of America in Minnesota. He said once his wife was in Israel, and he was home with his young daughter. She was bored, so he took her to his mall. They were eating French fries at the only Kosher café when they saw another religious family who told them they were driving cross-country from L.A. to a wedding, and they had stopped off there at the mall.

The head of the family was a Rabbi in a school in L.A., and he made small talk with Mr. Ghermezian, not knowing he was the owner of the mall. The Rabbi mentioned his last name, and only after walking away from the family, did Mr. Ghermezian's realize that that this Rabbi may be related to another Rabbi that he had as a teacher when he was younger. He had been looking for this Rabbi for a long time to ask for forgiveness for something that he had done when he was younger.

So, he went back to the cafe after he had already left and asked this Rabbi if he knew the Rabbi that he was looking for, but he did not know him. Now, Mr. Ghermezian started thinking more. This family couldn't even afford flights to the wedding they needed to go to, so he turned to the children and asked them if they wanted passes to the rides in the mall. They all said they wished they could have them, but they could not afford them.

He told them he would take care of it. Since that day was a national holiday, the back offices were closed, and so he went and stood in line like everyone else to get tickets. When it was his turn, he asked to speak to a supervisor. When the supervisor came out, she recognized him and gave him what he asked for. He went back to where the family was waiting and put the passes in the mother's hand.

The mother then said, "Wow, this is amazing." She explained, "For two weeks, we knew we were going to stop off here, and my children knew we weren't going to be able to afford to buy tickets to the rides. They have been talking about this for the past two weeks, how they wished that somehow they would be able to get onto the rides there." This mother, who learns bitachon--faith every day, told her children, "If Hashem wants to put the tickets in my hands, He can put them in my hands." And here she was standing with the owner of the mall, who had just put the tickets right in her hands.”

When Mr. Ghermezian walked away, he was awed at the hashgacha—divine supervision of Hashem. Here he thought he was making decisions about what to do that day. Little did he know, he was just a pawn in the hands of Hashem to give this family the tickets that He wanted them to have. Hashem caused the Mr. Ghermezian’s wife to go to Israel, which left him home with their younger daughter. Hashem made the daughter bored, so he would go to his work on his off day. He made him go to the cafe at the same moment that this family who was traveling across the country would be there. He made him go back to find out the name of a person that this Rabbi didn't even know. All just to give this family tickets to the rides. Hashem loves us more than we could ever imagine and is always looking out for our best. It may not always appear that way, but we must know it is the absolute truth.

The Power of Prayer

When Eliezer was sent on a quest to find an unknown match for Yitzchak, he knew this would be a difficult task. Eliezer went on his mission, prayed to Hashem that he would be successful, and Rivkah appeared by the well. Years later in Parashat Vayetzeh, Yaakov went on his journey to find his already established shidduch, Rachel. This match was set in motion already; it was supposed to be relatively easy! But instead, Yaakov had many hurdles to pass, working for years only to marry her sister Leah, and then having to work again.

The difference here was the prayers of Eliezer. He prayed for Hashem to give him success. And although the shidduch for Yitzchak was unknown and should have been difficult, Eliezer’s prayers and faith in Hashem made Rivkah appear quickly. So we learn from this, that when we pray difficult things become easy, and when we don’t pray, the easy things become more difficult. We must always keep trying, keep praying, and have emunah that Hashem will find our naseeb—match at the right time.

Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro told an amazing story about a woman in her 40s who hadn’t yet found her zivug—match. A friend of hers suggested she go to Rav Yissachar Meyer to get some advice. The woman was from France and didn’t speak Hebrew, so she asked her friend to help translate the Rabbi’s message to her. The Rabbi suggested to the woman to read Tehillim— to “recite perek 32, perek 38, perek 82, and perek 121, every day for 30 days.” The friend translated this for the single woman, and she vowed to do just that.

On day 30 she got engaged, and she asked her friend to find the Rabbi to share the amazing news! While they were getting in touch with the Rabbi, the friend realized something. She said to the new bride, “I know you don’t speak Hebrew because I need to translate for you, but do you read Hebrew?” The woman said, “No, of course not.” The friend, dumbstruck, said, “Well, how did you say the four perakim for 30 days?” The woman answered, “I did exactly what the Rabbi said to do! I held the Tehillim close to me, and I said with all my heart, ‘perek 32, perek 38, perek 82, perek 121, please Hashem find me a husband,’ every day for 30 days.

The woman intended to pray to Hashem with sincerity and emunah, and although her prayers weren’t exactly traditional, they were heartfelt prayers, nonetheless, and Hashem sent her a shidduch. We must always remember Hashem is in charge and have faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to.

“Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change. Prayer is a conversation you have with Hashem about things He can change.”

Having Everything

Later it says, “V’Avraham zaken ba bayamim, v’Hashem berach et Avraham bakol — And Avraham was old, advanced in his days, and Hashem had blessed Avraham with everything (24:1).” Rashi says that the gematria—numerical value of “bakol—with everything” is 52, which is the same numerical value as the word ben—son. We can infer from Rashi that once Avraham had his son, Yitzchak, and they both passed that final test of the akedah, he was content that he truly did have everything!

As we get older, we realize what’s most important in our lives is our children and the legacy we leave through them. So when Rashi says that Avraham’s son Yitzchak was everything, he’s saying that all that matters to us as parents and grandparents are our children, and the future of our families who will carry on our lineage.

This passuk says that Hashem’s blessing for us is to have children and grandchildren that will grow up to follow in the ways of the Torah and make us proud of them. To many people, having “everything” means wealth, status, and honor. But really, what’s most important is seeing our children become part of our Jewish lineage.

There is a question posed about how the passuk begins, “Avraham was old, advanced in his days.” This seems somewhat redundant. Rabbi Twerski Z’TL commented that many people in their older years tend to look back and express regret. If only they could turn back the clock and relive the days of their youth to avoid some of the mistakes they had made. They would never think back and say, “If only I had spent more time at the office.” Rather, they realize later in life how insignificant those extra hours at the office were, compared to the great value of spending precious time with the family.

May we always be happy about the mitzvot we do, and not regret them. May we live each day to the fullest by spending quality time with our children and grandchildren. This way we will enter our later years content that our days were full and productive, with our children and grandchildren around us, learning and growing in Torah and maasim tovim. May we always have emunah that Hashem is in control and continue to pray for successful shidduchim for anyone who may be looking.

Discussion Point:

Are we living our lives the right way, with the guidance of the Torah, where we will have “everything?”

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Le’ilui Nishmat…

Eliyahu Ben Rachel

Rabbi Shimon Chay Ben Yaasher

Avraham Ben Garaz

Sarah Bat Chanah

Esther Bat Sarah

Avraham Ben Mazal

Shulamit Bat Helaina

Rabbi Meyer Ben Chana

Rahamim Ben Mazal

Batsheva Bat Sarah Esther

Rafael Ben Miriam

Ovadia Ben Esther

Rav Haim Ben Rivka

Moshe Ben Mazal

Moshe Ben Yael

Yitzchak Ben Adele

Avraham Ben Mazal

Meir Ben Latifa

Chanah Bat Esther

Yaakov Ben Rachel

Malka Bat Garaz

Moshe Ben Garaz

Avraham Ben Kami

Yaakov Ben Leah

Mordechai Ben Rachel

Chacham Shaul Rachamim Ben Mazal

Natan Ben Rachel

Saadia Ben Miriam

Eliyah Ben Latifa Simhon

Margalit Bat Mazal

Ovadia Haim Ben Malaky

Rabbi Aharon Chaim Ben Ruchama

Luratte Bat Masouda

Esther Bat Menucha

Uri Ben Rahel

Rivka Bat Dona

Shalom Ben Zahra

Rachel Bat Sarah

Shalom Ben Zahra

Chava Yvette Bat Jamile

Refuah Shelemah…

Rachel Bat Devorah

Anyone interested in dedicating this Divre Torah Le'ilui Nishmat or Refuah Shelemah or In Honor of someone, can email me at

jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com. Checks can be made out to “A Life of Torah” for $101 and mailed to 2387 Ocean Ave Suite 1G, Brooklyn, NY 11229 (please put in the memo “Divre Torah”). Anyone interested in past parshiot please go to the website ParashaPerspective.org