Dvar Torah Parashat Vayeshev

Dedicated in Honor of my Eshet Chayil Wife, Amy

By Joe R. Betesh

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Parashat Vayeshev

The Formation of The Jewish Nation

Parashat Vayeshev begins with the passuk, “Yaakov settled in the land of his father’s sojourning in the land of Canaan. These are the chronicles of Yaakov: Yosef at the age of seventeen was a shepherd with his brothers by the flock.” After years of suffering and tribulation—between running from Esav, being a victim of Lavan’s trickery, Shechem capturing his daughter Dinah, having his beloved wife Rachel struggle with bearing children, and then losing her tragically on the road during the birth of Binyamin—Yaakov was looking forward to settling down with his family and building Am Yisrael. He was eager to be able to truly serve Hashem with peace of mind. But Hashem had a different plan for Yaakov, because tzaddikim are never intended to have lives of leisure in this world. Yaakov still had much to accomplish in the building of Klal Yisrael.

The parasha goes on to say, “Now Yisrael loved Yosef more than his other sons since he was a child of his old age, and so he made him a fine woolen tunic (37:3).” And thus began another one of Yaakov’s distresses, the sale of his cherished son Yosef. The brothers saw Yosef from a distance and wanted to kill him. Why were the brothers so angry with Yosef that they wanted to kill him? Could this just be a simple case of sibling rivalry?

The formation of the Jewish people was characterized at all stages by a thorough filtering process until only the finest remained to become the future nation of G-d. This filtering process began with Avraham Avinu. Avraham had two sons, Yitzchak and Yishmael. Yitzchak was chosen to be Avraham’s successor, while Yishmael was expelled and founded a nation of his own. This phenomenon recurred with Yitzchak’s two sons, Yaakov and Esav. Yaakov was the son who clung to his father’s ways, whereas Esav broke away and created a separate nation.

Yosef recounted his dreams to his brothers. In Yosef’s first dream, he declared: “Behold, your sheaves [of wheat] gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.” Eleven bundles of wheat represented Yosef’s eleven brothers bowing down to him. In the second dream, the sun, moon, and eleven stars all bowed down to Yosef. Since Yaakov, represented by the sun, bowed down to Yosef, this meant that Yosef was to become one of the patriarchs. The brothers, therefore, thought that there would be another filtering process, this time with the children of Yaakov. They were afraid they would be expelled as Yishmael and Esav were, and that they wouldn’t merit to be founders of the Jewish Nation.

Rabbi Frand shares a question from The Sefer Milchamot Yehudah. He asks even if Yosef was meant to go down to Mitzrayim, why did the Ribono shel Olam want Yosef to be put through the test of Potiphar’s wife? Why did that happen?

According to the Milchamot Yehudah, there was a very specific reason. The reason is because the Almighty knew that the Jews would eventually need to go down to Mitzrayim. (This was already prophesized to Avraham at the Bris bein haBesarim.) Hashem knew that Mitzrayim was an amoral country – a land immersed in promiscuity. How were Jews going to be able to survive in the promiscuity and lewdness that permeated Mitzrayim?

The answer is that the fact that Yosef was able to withstand this test and not succumb to the sin of arayot—forbidden sexual relations made it possible for Jews to amazingly never succumb to the sin of adultery the entire time they were in Mitzrayim (with the exception of one woman and that was a case of mistaken identity).

Societies and neighbors’ attitudes affect people. Mitzrayim was full of promiscuity and yet, that did not affect Yaakov’s descendants. How did that happen? Yosef’s ability to withstand temptation set the pattern and set the standard of sexual morality in Klal Yisrael, which saved those who came later.

In every single galut—exile that the Jewish people have experienced the Ribono shel Olam puts righteous people in those places who are the pioneers and trailblazers to help give strength to those who came later to withstand negative influences.

Do You Recognize This?

Yehuda spoke up and said, “What gain will there be if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?” Yehuda convinced the brothers to sell Yosef to the Ishmaelites as a slave rather than kill him. The brothers returned to their father Yaakov with a fabricated story that Yosef had been killed by a wild animal. As proof, they brought their father Yosef’s beautiful robe, which they had dipped in goat’s blood. It was Yehuda’s idea, so he was the one who brought the coat to Yaakov and said the words “Haker na—Do you recognize this (37:32)?”

Later in the parasha, when we read about the story of Yehuda and Tamar, we see the very same words used by Tamar when Yehuda confronts her. She asks him, “Haker na—Do you recognize this (38:25)?” Yehuda recognized his signet, wrap, and staff, and admitted his guilt. A direct result of this is that Yehuda was elevated to the status of king over his brothers, and eventually over Am Yisrael. We learn two great lessons from this episode. The first is the reward for one who can admit his faults and mistakes, a trait that most people find very hard to do. The second is a lesson about how Hashem runs the world. One is judged in the very same manner as he conducts himself, middah k’neged middah—measure for measure. The exact words that Yehuda used when presenting his brother’s coat to his father reappeared when he was confronted by Tamar. Hashem was sending Yehuda a message regarding his offense in dealing with his father.

Power of Humility

A couple had everything secular Israelis could wish for, beautiful large home, an expensive car, a large income and plenty of time and money to vacation around the world and a happy marriage as well. But after 16 years of marriage, they still had no children, which of course caused them a lot of pain.

One day a friend of the wife, who was a religious Torah observant Jew, told her friend, “There is a Great Tzaddik in Bnei Brak who has helped many people. This great Rabbi’s name is Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. His wife is also a very righteous person and well known as Rebbetzin Kanievsky. If you go to her, she will bless you and give your name to her Great husband to pray for you. I think it’s very worthwhile for you to make the trip to their home.” The friend wrote down the address on a piece of paper and gave it to her friend.

The childless wife had never been to a Great Rabbi before, but due to her desperate situation, she was willing to try anything. Her husband was not interested in going, but did not oppose his wife going.

The next day she went to the central bus station and went on a bus to Bnei Brak. She got off at the right stop and looked for someone to direct her to The Gadol Hador’s home. She saw a young boy around 9 years old and said to herself, “If Rabbi Kanievsky is as famous as my friend says, then even this young boy should know where he lives.”

She then showed the boy the paper of the address from her friend and asked where this home is.

The young boy looked at the woman and thought to himself, “This woman is not dressed like my mother or any other woman in Bnei Brak. I don’t think Reb Chaim would see a woman dressed like this. I must not help this woman reach The Gadol Hador’s home. Reb Chaim would be upset at me, if I showed her to his home.”

The young boy told the woman to cross over to the other side of the street and take the bus for two stops, despite the fact that Reb Chaim’s home was close by to where they were standing.

The woman followed the young boy’s directions and upon arrival found an adult and showed the paper of the address from her friend and asked where this home is. The adult man told her exactly how to get there and she started the 15-minute walk. During her walk she thought to herself, “I guess I was wrong, this Rabbi is probably not so famous, as my friend insisted.”

When she arrived at the correct address, she was shocked to find the young boy siting on the steps of Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky’s home crying while reciting Tehillim. The boy looked up and saw the woman. He said, “I’m happy you got here, I been waiting for you.” He then explained why he gave her the wrong directions.

The boy continued, “When I saw you get on the bus in the opposite direction, I began to feel very bad. I went home and told my parents what I did of which they were very upset with me. So I then came here to the steps of The Gadol Hador to say Tehillim begging Hashem that you should make it here. I have been waiting here to ask you for forgiveness. Please forgive me.”

The woman was touched like nothing else before in her lifetime. And she was further moved when the young boy said, “You must have come to ask The Great Rabbi for a Beracha. I will say Tehillim that Hashem should give you whatever you need.”

Rebbetzin Kanievsky welcomed the woman in with open arms. Rebbetzin Kanievsky blessed the woman and gave her name to Reb Chaim to pray for the couple to be blessed with a child.

A year later the woman and her husband (who were by then baalei teshuvah) gave birth to their first child.

At a seminar the woman told over her story of turning to religion. She related, “There was several reasons for me becoming a baalat teshuvah, but above all was that amazing impression of that young boy. At such a young age, he repented immediately, was so sensitive to the wrong he did to me and so concerned for atonement for what he did, this just convinced me that there is something very special about the Torah and those that follow it.”

Our Role Models

Rav Frand talks about when Yosef rose to become the overseer of the house of Potiphar, eventually, Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Yosef. The passuk teaches, “And Yosef came home to do his work…” (Bereishit 39:11) At that time, Mrs. Potiphar tried to seduce him. According to one opinion in the Talmud, Yosef haTzadik’s intention, when he entered the house that day, was in fact to be intimate with her, but at that very moment, the image of his father appeared to him from the window and caused him to abstain from carrying out his intentions.

The Talmud relates that a certain Roman matron asked Rav Yosi the following question: How can it be that a 17-year-old boy, who has been away from his family and all family influence, immersed in the sensuality of Egyptian society — how was it possible for him to be able to withstand this temptation? The Talmud (Sotah 36b) elaborates that it was that vision of his father in the window telling him “Yosef, in the future your brethren will want to inscribe your name among the stones of the apron worn by the Kohen Gadol, together with the names of the other tribes. Do you want to do something that will cause your name to be blotted out from amidst the names of my other sons? Do you want to have the title ‘a shepherd of prostitutes?’” When Yosef heard that, he backed off. This fear of losing his connection to his father is what held him back from sinning.

Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky makes two interesting observations. This image only works if the father has “currency” with his son. If the father does not have “currency” with the son, his appearance in the window is not going to save the day. Just as there is a concept (Chagiga 15b) that “If a teacher appears (in stature) as an Angel of G-d, then one seeks the words of Torah from his mouth,” so too it is the case that if a FATHER appears (in stature) to his children like an Angel of G-d, then and only then will be able to have influence on them. We as parents need to act in a manner that will cause it to be simply impossible for our children to contemplate “how could I ever let my father down and do this to him?”

This is one of the foundations of child rearing — that a father needs to gain respect and prestige in the eyes of his children. He has to maintain credibility and inspire love and admiration, such that one’s children would never contemplate harming their father’s reputation or expectations of them. Chazal is telling us that we need to have that type of relationship with our children, such that they love and respect us and want to remain attached to us, thereby never doing anything that puts that relationship at risk.

Rabbi Frand shares a question from the Chasam Sofer on Parshat Vayechi that he had never previously seen. Yosef calms his brothers (after Yaakov’s death), by telling them that he is not angry at them. Yosef needed to be in Egypt to save the world from famine. The Chasam Sofer asks: We know that Yosef was saved from the evil of Potiphar’s wife by his father’s image appearing. However, when the ten brothers wanted to sell Yosef, why didn’t they see the image of their father to prevent them from selling Yosef?

The Chasam Sofer answers, Yosef himself had this very question. He asked himself, why me? Why didn’t Hashem do this for my brothers as well, and save them from the grievous aveira of selling their brother into slavery? Yosef’s conclusion was that Hashem wanted them to send him to Mitzrayim. We don’t know or understand why Hashem wants certain things to happen. In the case of Yosef’s sale to Mitzrayim, in hindsight, Yosef felt he knew that his sale into slavery was ultimately the Will of G-d. That is why Yosef could deal generously with his brothers.

May we always remember that a Jew should never despair; Hashem is in control. Very often there’s a silver lining that we don’t see in all the trying times that we face throughout our lives. May we be willing to contribute to the continuation and spiritual growth of Am Yisrael like Yosef Hatzaddik.

Discussion Point:

Do we always have the strength to admit our faults and mistakes when we are wrong, like Yehuda?

This book is a compilation of Divre Torah from the weekly parasha classes from Rabbi Sananes’ teachings over the last 10 years along with my own experiences in those classes which has stimulated my Torah growth. I’ve included many pertinent stories and life lessons to grow from at your Shabbat table. There’s also questions and discussion points at the end of each Parasha to stimulate a Torah conversation at your Shabbat table for the whole family to participate in. Also, included is a holidays section at the end of the book to use for all of our special holidays and Yomiim Toviim.



Now available in all Jewish bookstores and Amazon! Scan the barcode on the right to purchase from Amazon.

Rabbi Sananes and I look forward to hearing your feedback.

Sincerely, Rabbi Amram Sananes and Jack E. Rahmey

AmramSananes@me.com and jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com (917-226-6276)

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Le’ilui Nishmat…

Eliyahu Ben Rachel

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Rabbi Meyer Ben Chana

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Moshe Ben Mazal

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Haim Ben Miriam

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Anyone interested in dedicating this Divre Torah Le'ilui Nishmat or Refuah Shelemah or In Honor of someone, can email me at

jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com. Checks can be made out to “A Life of Torah” for $101 and mailed to 2387 Ocean Ave Suite 1G, Brooklyn, NY 11229 (please put in the memo “Divre Torah”). Anyone interested in past parshiot please go to the website ParashaPerspective.org