Dvar Torah Parashat Matot-Massei

Dedicated Leilui Nishmat Rahamim Raymond Levy A’h and Nicole Levy A’h

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Parashat Matot-Massei

Making Vows

This parasha begins by discussing nedarim-vows. When someone makes a neder it becomes as binding as a commandment of the Torah, to the point that if the person violates the neder, there is a court-imposed penalty. For instance, if a person takes a neder to abstain from drinking wine, the wine now takes on the same status as pork. For that person, the thing which the vow prohibits has a new halachik status.

The parasha begins, “Moshe spoke to the heads of the tribes of Bnei Yisrael, saying, ‘This is the thing that Hashem has commanded: If a man makes a vow to Hashem or swears an oath to establish a prohibition upon himself, he shall not desecrate his word, according to whatever comes from his mouth, he shall do.’”

We learn from this that nedarim are a very serious matter and that we cannot take them lightly. The closest we come to a neder today is when we pledge to make a donation. Many times, those pledges are made when we have an aliya and are standing by the sefer Torah. When we perform a mitzvah, it is said that we create an angel, and that angel will advocate for us in Heaven.

When we make a pledge to give a donation, we are creating half an angel, and that angel is not fully completed until we pay what we promised. Our Rabbis teach us that these half-completed angels cannot help us, and in fact, they can actually hurt us. We must make it our business to always honor our pledges. In order to protect ourselves, it is recommended that we say bli neder—without a vow when we make a pledge. We should be in the practice of saying bli neder after pledging to make a donation or making any promise that could be considered a neder.

Gratitude in Action

Rabbi Mansour speaks about Parashat Matot, where Hashem commands Moshe to lead a war against Midian, who initiated a scheme to lead Bnei Yisrael to sin which resulted in the deaths of thousands of people among the nation. The Midrash notes that Hashem instructed Moshe to wage this war, yet Moshe sent 12,000 men led by Pinhas to fight Midian, while he remained behind. How, the Midrash asks, could Moshe Rabbenu shirk his responsibility? If Hashem commanded him to go and wage war, how could he delegate this difficult task to others?

The Midrash offers a remarkable answer. Moshe owed a debt of gratitude to Midian, where he found refuge when he was forced to flee from Egypt many years earlier. As we read in Parashat Shemot, Moshe killed an Egyptian taskmaster who was beating an Israelite slave, and Pharaoh heard about the incident and sought to kill Moshe. Moshe immediately fled and found safety in Midian, where he married the daughter of Yitro and worked for him as a shepherd. Moshe owed his life to Midian, and it would thus have been inappropriate for him to lead a war against it.

Moshe did not arrive at this logic on his own. He reached this conclusion on the basis of Hashem’s commands many years earlier during the ten plagues. Hashem commanded that specifically Aharon – as opposed to Moshe – should turn the water of Egypt into blood and produce vermin from its dust. It would have been improper for Moshe to strike the water, which protected him when he was an infant and his mother placed him in a basket in the river to save him from the Egyptians, and to strike the earth, which he used to cover the remains of the taskmaster whom he killed. The fundamental value of gratitude dictates that one does not "throw a rock into the well from which he drank," that we must not cause harm to those who have been good to us. And thus even though Hashem wished to strike the water and earth of Egypt, He did not want Moshe to carry out this task, given the debt of gratitude he owed.

Recalling this precedent, Moshe understood that he was not the one to wage battle against Midian. He realized that when Hashem instructed him to go out to war, He meant that Moshe should mobilize and send an army, rather than go fight himself. The Torah value of gratitude extends even to sworn enemies of our nation – like Midian – and even to inanimate objects – such as water and earth.

It is told that Rav Yisrael Gustman, who served as a Rosh Yeshiva in Jerusalem, would water the plants and bushes outside his yeshiva each day. When asked about this practice, he explained that he survived the Holocaust, spending a considerable amount of time hiding in fields. He felt a deep sense of gratitude to bushes and plants for helping him escape from the Nazis, and he thus felt it was appropriate to personally care for the yeshiva’s garden.

If this is the Torah’s attitude when it comes to plants, then it certainly applies to family members and friends. If Moshe owed a debt of gratitude to the waters of Egypt, shouldn’t we show appreciation to our spouses? If Moshe was to show respect to dirt for the service it provided him, shouldn’t we respect the people who work for us? If Moshe felt grateful to a wicked nation like Midian, shouldn’t we be profoundly grateful to our parents, siblings, friends and neighbors?

Sincere Prayer

“Send out one thousand soldiers per tribe (31:4).” When the Jews went to war with Midian, we learn from the midrash that there were three groups of one thousand sent out from every shevet—tribe. One group went to fight, one went to protect, and the last group was sent out to pray for the success and safety of the soldiers. In his book, Yosif Daas: Growing with the Parasha, Rabbi Yosef Wahrman discusses this incident. Why was it necessary to send a group from each shevet out to pray? Couldn’t Bnei Yisrael just be instructed to pray from their homes?

Rabbi Wahrman brings down a Gemara, saying that there is a well-known mitzvah to visit the sick, and when one visits an ill person, he should go in the evening, rather than the morning. Why? Because a sick person is usually in better condition earlier in the day, and if the visitor sees the ill person in a better state, he will not be as encouraged to pray for him. When one sees how sick the person truly is, the visitor will be inspired to pray a sincere and heartfelt prayer.

While it’s true all Bnei Yisrael were encouraged to pray for the soldiers’ safety, twelve thousand people were sent to see the dangers of the war firsthand so they could pray with deeper sincerity. It was necessary for members of each shevet to see their close relatives and tribe members in danger.

If we don’t have access to seeing who we are praying for, we learn from this that we should try our absolute hardest to visualize the plight of the individual in need, so we can pray sincerely and wholeheartedly and bring them salvation. Amen!

Your Money or Your Kids?

Later in the parasha we are told that the descendants of Gad and Reuven said to Moshe that before going to war, “We will build pens for the flocks of sheep and cities for our small children (32:16).” The phrasing suggests that they gave priority to their flocks over their children. Why would they do this? Moshe later criticized them by reversing the order of the words they used, “Build for yourself cities for your small children and pens for your flock.”

We also may be guilty of the same thing with our children. At the time of a pidyon haben the kohen asks the father “Do you want the money or your son?” Naturally, it is not a question that is meant to indicate an actual real-life choice, and the kohen would refuse to take the child if the father said he preferred the money. The question is intended to send a message to the father about his duties as a parent and how he must always put his child first.

But as children grow up, many parents work very hard and don’t give the proper time to their children, and the implication could be drawn that they are putting their money ahead of their children. Many children today lack a good relationship with their parents because their parents are busy all day at work. Then when the parents come home, they bring their work with them or spend their free time on their cell phones. The children grow up with a lack of the proper guidance and attention. They then look elsewhere — like the streets — for that missing attention, which can only lead them to trouble!

Let us not sacrifice our family and relationships over the pursuit of material things. Smartphones are here to make our lives easier, but not to control us, and make us addicted and unsociable. It’s not too late to return to a real family life, back to the old days when we didn’t have the internet and computer games. Put down that phone for a while. Talk to your children, your spouse, or your friends. Set a good example for your children. Whatever you do, they will also do. Talk to the people you love and make sure they feel loved. And you can receive love from them too.

Our children didn’t ask to be brought into a world with so many difficulties, and we must provide them with the best opportunities to achieve growth and happiness. We must teach them discipline and give them good self-esteem by praising their accomplishments so that they will grow to be respectful and upstanding contributors to society, be’ezrat Hashem!

What’s Really Important?

Rabbi Mansour brings a beautiful point that is hinted in the final pesukiim of Matot. The Torah talks about two men from Menashe who conquered and renamed cities. Yair renamed some small towns in Gilad to Havot Yair, and Novah renamed Kenat as Novah. Rashi notes from the grammar of the names of the two cities that the name of the city “Novah” did not endure, while hundreds of years later “Havot Yair” remained. Why does the Torah need to mention this seemingly insignificant piece of information?

Rabbi Shimon Schwab illuminates a beautiful lesson about the values of Yair and Novah. In Yair’s town wealth was viewed with importance but not as their priority. However, Novah equated one’s wealth with their self-worth. This is why Novah was punished. He failed to recognize that there is so much more to a person than their financial status and assets.

Many people today follow Novah’s example by judging people based on their jobs and wallet size. Often when speaking to others we find one of the first questions we ask is about the other’s job. After receiving a response, we put them into a box “successful,” “unsuccessful” “important,” or “unimpressive.” We can also find ourselves coveting cars, vacations, homes over other people’s (and sometimes our own) values, mitzvot, chessed, or Torah learning. We must refocus our priorities in life and focus on what’s really important.

The Month of “Av”

The Three Weeks are a time of Hester Panim, where Hashem is hiding His face, but He is still in control and running the world behind the scenes. Even so, the day we’re approaching is Rosh Chodesh Av, and the Rabbis say that the month is called Av because Hashem is our Father in Heaven and is always watching over us. The following is an amazing story told in Rabbi Yoel Gold’s Stories to Inspire series.

A bride and groom walked into a big furniture supplier and looked around and noticed the clear financial success of the incredible company. The father of the groom approached the owner and asked him how he achieved such success in his life. The owner told him, “It’s a funny story, actually.”

“Years ago, my Rabbi suggested to me that I become a councilman for my city. This position never really crossed my mind before, so I wasn’t planning on taking the race too seriously. But since my Rabbi wanted me to try, I decided to go for it. Another Jewish man in the race really wanted to win. I didn’t take it personally, since I wasn’t attached to winning, but he was determined to get me to lose the race. He got ahold of my cell number and took out these big, elaborate ads in all the newspapers and magazines, and with my number, posted MATTRESSES ½ PRICE!”

The owner continued, “When the ads started running, my phone began to ring off the hook. I got a ton of phone calls, saying, ‘Hi, I’d like two twin mattresses, please.’ I said, “Mattresses? I don’t sell mattresses.’ This went on for a few days before I saw the ad myself and caught on. I spoke to my Rabbi, and he said if I wanted to, I was allowed to explain to the callers that the ad was published to undermine me in the race for councilman. I thought about it and remembered that if Hashem does everything for the best, then I could make the best of this strange situation.”

“During the next phone call I received, I took measurements and an exact specific order from the caller. I started to take all the orders and record them in a little notebook. After one week, I counted all my orders and took it to a mattress supplier. I had orders for over 1,400 mattresses!! I ran the numbers and requested to pay a specific, low price since it was a tremendous bulk buy, and I would be making a small profit on each one. I hired a delivery guy and delivered the orders within the next week, and every purchase was paid in full. It was a huge success!”

“With word-of-mouth and amazing Siyata Deshmaya, somehow, before I knew it, I was selling mattresses, and then bedroom sets, then dining room sets, and then I opened a storefront, and the company grew and grew before my eyes!!! Instead of making an enemy of someone who tried to cut me down, I chose to accept Hashem’s Will with love, and I know He was and is the source of my wonderful parnasah.”

May we all be so very cognizant of the words that we say so that we don’t make any nedarim that we cannot keep. We should always remember to pay our donations, or at least say bli neder when pledging, so that we don’t create half-angels. May we also know our priorities by putting our children’s best interests above our business interests. The time spent with our children is an everlasting investment, as opposed to our business matters, which are only temporary. And may we always remember that Hashem is our Av, watching over us and running the world, even behind the scenes in these Three Weeks leading up to Tish’a B’Av.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Amram Sananes, written by Jack Rahmey

Discussion Point:

Are we careful with any nedarim that we might make in order not to break them?

This book is a compilation of Divre Torah from the weekly parasha classes from Rabbi Sananes’ teachings over the last 10 years along with my own experiences in those classes which has stimulated my Torah growth. I’ve included many pertinent stories and life lessons to grow from at your Shabbat table. There’s also questions and discussion points at the end of each Parasha to stimulate a Torah conversation at your Shabbat table for the whole family to participate in. Also, included is a holidays section at the end of the book to use for all of our special holidays and Yomiim Toviim.



Now available in all Jewish bookstores and Amazon!

Rabbi Sananes and I look forward to hearing your feedback.

Sincerely, Rabbi Amram Sananes and Jack E. Rahmey

AmramSananes@me.com and jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com (917-226-6276)

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