Dvar Torah Parashat Acharei Mot - Kedoshim

Dedicated Leilui Nishmat Ezra ben Zekia

By Raymond Dayan and Family

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Parashat Acharei Mot - Kedoshim

The Deaths of Aharon’s Sons



This week’s parasha is called Acharei Mot and begins with the passuk, “Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe acharei mot shenei b’nei Aharon bekarbatam lifnei Hashem vayamutu — Hashem spoke to Moshe after the death of Aharon’s two sons, when they came before Hashem, and they died.”

As we learned a few weeks ago, Aharon’s sons’ passing occurred in Parashat Shemini. This week’s parasha brings up the death of Aharon’s two sons again, and it’s even named Acharei Mot—After the Death for this tragic event.

Nadav and Avihu were two great tzaddikim. According to Chazal, the sin they committed that caused their death was that they brought a foreign incense into the Mishkan without discussing it with each other — but more importantly, without the consent of their rabbi, Moshe Rabbenu. According to Rashbam, Moshe was waiting to bring incense only after the descent of the heavenly fire, because he wanted the first incense to be kindled with Hashem’s own fire to bring about a kiddush Hashem! Nadav and Avihu did not realize this and rushed to bring incense with their own fire. This teaches us an important lesson. As much as one thinks he may know a certain halacha, he should always consult his rabbi before doing something that could be questionable or even forbidden.

An obvious question is why this incident is brought down here in this parasha, when it actually happened earlier. The answer is in the next passuk, “And Hashem said to Moshe, ‘Speak to Aharon, your brother; he shall not come at all times into the Kodesh Kodashim, so that he [Aharon] should not die.’” Hashem used this incident to teach Aharon of the halachot of the Kodesh Kodashim. Rashi explains this with a parable of a person who is sick and goes to the doctor. The doctor warns his patient to stay away from certain foods and get the proper rest in order to recover quickly. If the doctor scares the patient, telling him that he could die if he doesn’t adhere to his instructions, the patient will be more likely to listen and follow the doctor’s orders.

But why is the Torah compelled to use these strong words — “don’t do it or you’ll die” — with Aharon, who was the kohen gadol and equal in spirituality to Moshe? Is there the slightest chance that Aharon would not obey Moshe’s instructions, even without the reminder of Nadav and Avihu’s deaths?

The Torah is teaching us an important lesson. As long as we inhabit our physical body, we will always have strong drives for forbidden things. Even Aharon could need to be taught a painful lesson to be able to overcome his yetzer hara. How much more so should we, who are at a much lower level of spirituality than Aharon, realize the danger of ignoring the consequences of prohibited acts?

Forbidden Relationships

The perek then continues to list all the forbidden relationships that we must abstain from. The Torah goes on at some length, describing each one of these prohibited relationships. These specific practices are mentioned because they were common in Egypt, where the Israelites lived for 210 years. When people live in a certain place for a long period of time, foreign ideologies become deeply ingrained in them. That’s why the Torah had to make such a point of saying that all of these foreign practices are forbidden.

This is similar to what has been going on in American society today. Ask your parents and grandparents what life was like in the old days. America had moral values, and the people of this country were much more modest and had a better work ethic, but over time those morals and ethics have eroded to what we are experiencing today. We cannot be fooled into thinking that our environment doesn’t influence us, because it definitely does. That’s why we must live within the confines of our communities, to make sure that our families are protected from the foreign elements of today’s society. This is the lesson we learn from our ancestors. When B’nei Yisrael left the decadent society of Egypt, they also had to shed their baggage, so it would not accompany them as they headed to take up residence in their new homeland of Eretz Yisrael.

Rabbi Frand comments on the particular prohibition where a man is forbidden to engage in a relationship between two sisters. Unlike the other immoral relationships, the Torah did not forbid this because it’s essentially disgraceful, but because of the social harm it would bring to the sibling bond. Placing two sisters into this situation will inevitably cause those who should have been best of friends to have a hostile relationship with one another. The Torah distinguishes that it’s inappropriate to make two sisters into co-wives to show how important it is for siblings to get along with each other. Whether we ourselves are siblings or whether we are parents with children who are siblings, we all know that this is indeed a very big challenge.

Rabbi David Ashear wrote a story in Living Emunah 5 about loyalty between siblings. Shlomo, a taxi driver in Israel picked up a distinguished-looking man in need of a ride from the airport. As they drove toward their destination, the passenger casually rolled up his sleeves. “It’s warm in here, right?” he asked conversationally. Shlomo glanced over, and when he saw the man’s arm, he gasped. “Are you all right?” the passenger asked, noting Shlomo’s distress.

Shlomo proceeded to tell him a story. “Years ago, I worked on a kibbutz. My job was sorting apples. I would put the good apples in one pile, to be sold, and throw the lower quality apples into a giant blender to make juice. One day, I had an urge to see how the blender worked. After filling it with bruised apples, I climbed up to the top to watch the apples get chopped. Suddenly, I lost my balance and fell into the deep vat. The machine was running, and I had very little time before the blades would strike me. I began to scream. Right in the nick of time, I felt someone grab me. He pulled me out and saved my life. I thanked him profusely from the bottom of my heart. From that day forward, we became friends.”

“On occasion,” Shlomo continued, “I noticed my new friend would seem depressed. One day, I gathered the nerve to pry and asked him what was bothering him. He told me he was a Holocaust survivor. He and his only brother went through the war together before he was taken away. ‘I haven’t seen him since,’ my friend said. ‘Sometimes I think about him and I get really sad, remembering how close we were.’” Shlomo said to the passenger, “He showed me the number on his arm, 8862. His brother’s number was one higher, 8863. It has been about ten years since my friend told me that story. He still gets sad about his long-lost brother. I’ll never forget that number. You just raised your sleeve and it’s there! 8863!!”

Shlomo drove his passenger straight to his friend’s home and let his tears flow unchecked as he watched the brothers’ emotional reunion. This episode was orchestrated by Hashem for many years, showing us the loyalty of a sibling is unmatched.

Perfect Match

AJ Gindi, a community advocate from Renewal shares an incredible story. We were having a hard time matching a kidney for a specific woman. She had a very high PRA level, which meant 99% of people would not be a suitable match. After combing through our database, one of the largest in the world (over four thousand people), we were still unable to find a match.

Renewal ran an entire event to find a kidney, and lo and behold person appeared. Baruch Hashem!

Prior to the transplant we spoke with the recipient, asking her what zechut—merit she had to receive such a rare kidney. After some thought the lady could only think of one merit. She said, “When my grandmother was 12 years old, she found favor in the eyes of an SS officer. They bonded over their shared hometown in Poland, and one day he gave her a present. He gifted her a pass that would allow her to go anywhere in the camp and spare her from the gas chambers.

“My grandmother refused, saying she would need two more for her parents. The Nazi officer procured two more, and elatedly she ran to her barracks. While showing her parents the passes, someone walks up to them and asks them for one more pass. My grandmother apologized, ‘I can’t. It’s impossible. It’s a miracle I got these. There’s no way I could get another.’

“The man pleaded. ‘Please, in our barracks we have the Bobov Rebbe, and we need to save him.’

My grandmother refused because she thought the officer would take back her passes. Impassioned, she spent the entire night duplicating the pass. The next morning, she gave the copy to the Rabbi. Sure enough, he survived.”

The Renewal team was astounded by the recipient’s grandmother’s chessed. Later on, we spoke with the donor. We told her we had been looking for the kidney for a while. What was her merit to donate such a special kidney? The donor shrugged. She said she came from a long line of Rabbis. Her grandfather was the Bobov Rebbe!

Hakadosh Baruch Hu never forgets! He makes sure we are always paid back. After 80 years Hashem orchestrated such a perfect reward. This week’s parashot discuss many mitzvot. Even if we do not understand the purpose of every mitzvah such as shatnez Hashem is waiting to reward us.

Judge Everyone Favorably

“You shall not commit a perversion of justice; you shall not favor the poor and you shall not honor the great; with righteousness shall you judge your fellow (Vayikra 19:15).”

Rashi explains that this means giving a person the benefit of the doubt. The obligation to give the benefit of the doubt is recorded in Pirkei Avot “Vehevei dan et kol ha’adam le’chaf zechut—Judge every person favorably (1:6).”

But this statement brings along its own set of questions. If I see someone driving on Shabbat or eating non-kosher, I’m obligated to give that person the benefit of the doubt? Must I assume that he has some medical condition that calls for eating unkosher food, or that there is an emergency that requires him to drive to a nearby hospital?

The book Classics on the Torah points out that the Gemara (Shabbat 127b) mentions an axiom that seems to be based on the concept of middah k’neged middah—measure for measure. One who judges his friend favorably will be judged favorably. The Gemara then re­cords several incidents where people were judged favorably. At the conclusion of each event, the following blessing was given to the one who gave the benefit of the doubt: Just as you judged me favorably, may Hashem judge you favorably.

I must judge my fellow Jew favorably, and in return, Heaven will give me the benefit of the doubt. This is hard to understand because, unlike humans who have unclear details, Hashem knows my motivation for everything. If I commit a forbidden act, Hashem has no safek—doubt, and any extenuating circumstances that would possibly permit this act are revealed to Him. It’s only us, the imperfect humans, who are uncertain as to a person’s motivation and must give the benefit of the doubt. So how will Hashem give me the benefit of the doubt? Before we answer this question, we have another question on the above-mentioned mishnah from Pirkei Avot, “Vehevei dan et kol ha’adam le’chaf zechut.” One would have expected the mishnah to say, “kol adam,” which means “every man.” Why does it say “kol ha’adam” whose literal meaning is “all the man?”

A few pesukim later the Torah says, “You should love your neighbor as yourself (Vayikra 19:18).” A person must treat his fellow Jew with the same love and concern that he would treat himself. During the days of Sefirat HaOmer, we commemorate the death of the 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva. One of the great ironies of Jewish history is that Rabbi Akiva, who used to preach V’Ahavta L’Reyacha Ka’mocha, had 24,000 disciples who, Chazal say, died because lo nohagu kavod zeh b’zeh (they did not treat each another with proper respect).

The Sefat Emet explains that we are not only supposed to give the benefit of the doubt to the man and the questionable action that he did; we are supposed to judge the entire person, “kol ha’adam” which will lead us to be more favorably inclined toward him. What other virtuous acts does this person commit? Is he otherwise a good, honest person who lives his life serving Hashem? Then he must have some sort of reason for driving.

Judging the whole person also applies to someone you cannot come up with an excuse for doing forbidden things. For instance, if this person is driving on Shabbat, and I [think I] know 100% he does not have an emergency or any other situation I could use to rationalize this act, I must consider all that brought him to where he is today, the time that he sinned. This includes his poor home life and upbringing and the trauma that he may have suffered as a child. This mishnah helps me to mitigate the severity of his actions. All in all, given his particular circumstances, he was doing the best that he could.

With this definition of all the man, the explanation of the Gemara takes on a new meaning. If I judge “kol ha’adam,” meaning that I look at the “whole person” and am therefore sympathetic, Hashem will, in turn, do the same for me. It is not about Hashem having doubt, but about understanding that we are doing our best. This tremendous compassion is available to us if we initiate it first. If I go easy on someone based on his whole story, then Hashem will do the same for me.

As we’re leading up to Matan Torah and the Holiday of Shavuot, we must have a special awareness and take extra care to love each Jew as a brother or sister from our Father in Heaven. Then we will surely bring Mashiach in our days!

May we be loyal to our own siblings and teach our children to get along and love each other, because they are our future and legacy!! May we always try to give others the benefit of the doubt and judge others favorably so that Hashem in turn will judge us favorably! May we continue to keep the laws of kashrut, family purity, and modest dress as reminders of our status as a separate and holy nation. May we work together, loving our fellow brother, to resist the tide so that we are worthy of a meaningful relationship with Hashem.

Amen! Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Amram Sananes, written by Jack Rahmey

Discussion Point:

Did we ever not judge someone favorably, only to find that we were completely wrong?

This book is a compilation of Divre Torah from the weekly parasha classes from Rabbi Sananes’ teachings over the last 10 years along with my own experiences in those classes which has stimulated my Torah growth. I’ve included many pertinent stories and life lessons to grow from at your Shabbat table. There’s also questions and discussion points at the end of each Parasha to stimulate a Torah conversation at your Shabbat table for the whole family to participate in. Also, included is a holidays section at the end of the book to use for all of our special holidays and Yomiim Toviim.



Now available in all Jewish bookstores and Amazon!

I and Rabbi Sananes look forward to hearing your feedback.

Sincerely, Jack E. Rahmey and Rabbi Amram Sananes jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com (917-226-6276) and AmramSanases@me.com

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Le’ilui Nishmat…

Eliyahu Ben Rachel

Rabbi Shimon Chay Ben Yaasher

Avraham Ben Garaz

Sarah Bat Chanah

Esther Bat Sarah

Avraham Ben Mazal

Shulamit Bat Helaina

Rabbi Meyer Ben Chana

Rahamim Ben Mazal

Batsheva Bat Sarah Esther

Rafael Ben Miriam

Ovadia Ben Esther

Rav Haim Ben Rivka

Moshe Ben Mazal

Moshe Ben Yael

Yitzchak Ben Adele

Avraham Ben Mazal

Meir Ben Latifa

Chanah Bat Esther

Yaakov Ben Rachel

Malka Bat Garaz

Moshe Ben Garaz

Avraham Ben Kami

Yaakov Ben Leah

Mordechai Ben Rachel

Chacham Shaul Rachamim Ben Mazal

Natan Ben Rachel

Saadia Ben Miriam

Eliyah Ben Latifa Simhon

Margalit Bat Mazal

Ovadia Haim Ben Malaky

Rabbi Aharon Chaim Ben Ruchama

Luratte Bat Masouda

Esther Bat Menucha

Uri Ben Rahel

Rivka Bat Dona

Shalom Ben Zahra

Rachel Bat Sarah

Shalom Ben Zahra

Chava Yvette Bat Jamile

Refuah Shelemah…

Rachel Bat Devorah

Anyone interested in dedicating this Divre Torah Le'ilui Nishmat or Refuah Shelemah or In Honor of someone, can email me at jrahmey@rahmeyfinancial.com. Checks can be made out to “A Life of Torah” for $101 and mailed to 2387 Ocean Ave Suite 1G, Brooklyn, NY 11229 (please put in the memo “Divre Torah”). Anyone interested in past parshiot please go to the website ParashaPerspective.org